Monday, March 29, 2010

Back to Reality

Sometimes opportunity knocks. Sometimes it ends up in your inbox. In the form of a reality show casting notice.

I have no idea how, but my email address is on some reality show casting company's list. The first audition email I got was "For The Love of Ray J." I was seriously pissed that someone would think that I actually would compete for Ray J. By the 3rd different casting notice, I realized it was nothing personal. I just trashed the emails. Until funemployment.

I got an email about casting for "Dating in the Dark." I'm single, have free time, enjoy a good psychological experiment. I figured that it's make a great story (I could blog about it!).

I submitted the required info and when they called me to come in for casting, I was thrilled. They like me, they really really like me! Then I read the 12-page questionnaire and the legal fine print. Whatever I'd say or do in the taped audition would be their property. That would not bode well for my big mouth. And I'd have to live in a house with 3 other crazy women.

I really don't want to be on reality TV. I was just gonna do it for fun. But this was way too much work. After all, I'm funemployed!

Sunday, March 28, 2010

eGad eBay!

eBay is seriously one of my saving graces. People will buy anything. Literally.

I was tentative at best about selling on eBay. I had sold a handbag about 5 years ago and it was a nightmare. People constantly sending questions. Wanting to see more pictures. Art directing what pictures I'd send. Then the winning bidder turned out to live in Thailand even though her profile said Virginia (she had an AOL account whose servers are/were in VA).

This time around, selling was a dream. Buyers now don't really want to communicate with sellers. I got a few questions, but for the most part the sales went off without a hitch. I became one with the Post Office. No one complained. And I made $1200 in one month.

I suddenly started seeing everything in my apartment as having a price tag. I have a LOT of excess stuff. And now, I have excess cash in my account to keep surviving.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

TMZ, Not Quite Me

One night, I attempted to become a paparazzo. And, no, I wasn't intoxicated.

I was meeting a friend in downtown LA so I ripped myself away from watching season 2 of Mad Men on DVD and jumped into my car. I looked for parking. Circled. Circled. Circled some more. I finally found a lot and seriously had to email myself where I parked and mapquest how to get to the bar because I was so turned around. Before I even had a drink.

As I walked up to the bar, I saw none other than Betty Draper. Talking to the bouncer. I thought for sure that I had made myself so dizzy that I was hallucinating Mad Men characters. When I saw that she was wearing jeans, I realized it was January Jones!

It wasn't long before my shaken and stirred brain came up with a plan: take a picture and sell it to US Weekly. iPhone doesn't have a flash so I won't get caught. I just needed to get close enough. Click, click, click.

I slid away to check the pix. Goddamn it! While not having a flash is a plus for furtive missions, it is a negative for photo clarity and precision. The pictures looked grainy, blurry and faraway.

While this mission was more like Kevin Federline's PopoZ√£o, I will live to paparazzo again...this time with a real camera!

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Overachievers, Undersleepers

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Nope, I didn't fall asleep and have my finger stuck on the z key. I'm talking about sleep. As Americans, we're overworked, underslept.

We're supposed to get 8 hours of sleep a night. However, between working, social life, exercising, spneding time with your loved ones and managing a household, there aren't 8 hours left over for sleep. I'd average about 6 hours a night and would wake up at least once in a panic after realizing I forgot to do something. I was exhausted.

So, one of my first initiatives in funemployment was to get caught up on sleep. That meant if I wanted to nap, I'd nap. If I needed to sleep 10 hours a night, I did. And by God I feel amazing. I'm more alert. My body feels better. I don't get every cold that comes my way. I don't need (as much) concealer because the dark circles have faded.

So funemployed, get your rest. And the rest just may fall into place.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Funemployment: The Genesis

So how exactly did I become funemployed? I was laid off after my ad agency's Los Angeles office was shut down. Our main client was a bank that was seized and auctioned off by the FDIC. Bet you can't say that.

Unlike a lot of my fellow unemployed legions, I was not blindsided. I knew that the bank was in trouble about 6 months before they were seized and that without a client, there wasn't much hope of our office staying open. So, I watched it all unravel slowly. And it was torture.

The upside of it all is that I had a lot of time to process. So on my last day, I felt like I was released from hell. I was nervous --afraid of financial ruin-- but so happy to be free of the gloom and doom. Instead of being expelled from the Garden of Eden, I feel like I've been let in!

Sunday, March 14, 2010

My Scarlett Syndrome

Ok, so you know how Scarlett O'Hara kept her head in the sand in Gone With The Wind? Well, apparently so do I.

Scarlett is stubborn, determined, strong and obsessed with Ashley Wilkes. Everyone watching the movie knows what she doesn't: that her soulmate is Rhett Butler. Biznatch won't let it go until the last 15 minutes of the movie when she finally catches up to everyone else.

I went to the psychic and she told me "You're a writer." My first reaction was "No, I write well but I'm not a writer."

Then it kinda hit me...this is far from the first time that someone has told me I'm a writer. When childhood friends would hear that I worked in an ad agency, they ask, "How is copywriting?" And so on, etc. Hell, I'm a blogger.

So, maybe I've kept my head in the sand all along. Is writing my Rhett Butler? Excuse me while I wipe the sand from my eyes.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Endorphins: Chicken Soup for the Psyche

The key to keeping your spirits up during funemployment is exercise. There are healthy reasons (of course) but it is also a lot cheaper than booze and seeing a shrink for anti-depressant scripts. Plus, there is a byproduct of looking good. It's called feeling good.

I had put on weight while working at my insane former job. So this is my shot to get in shape. I didn't expect exercise to be such an important part of keeping (getting?) sane. Any latent anger or frustration is released by running, spinning, hiking, boxing. You get the idea.

Not only am I super smiley, but my skin has a radiance that it hasn't had in a while and my clothes fit better than ever. I think I'm addicted to endorphins. Who knew? Exercise exorcises the demons. And the fat!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

My Dharma Initiative

So what do I do all day? Not quite GTL although I do workout. Skip the tanning (no aging!) and depending on the day, definitely laundry. Be social. Think about what's next. What is my dharma/path?

For the first time in a long time, my synapses are firing. I'm feeling inspired, hopeful. I'm ready for a challenge. Riding this entrepreneurial spirit, here's my list:

--Blogger: check!
--Paparazzo: Seeing celebs in LA is like seeing kids in the suburbs. I'll start carrying my camera...
--eBay: sell my stuff, sell my super busy friends' stuff (for a cut of course), go to tag & estate sales to find stuff to sell...
--Dogs: I love 'em and they need to be walked.
--Resumes: keep sending them out into the deep abyss of HR departments.

Well, that's the list so far. I'm going to a psychic soon so we'll see if she sheds any light. 'Cause much like a character on Lost, I'm confused. Suggestions welcome!