The I of the tiger

My spirit guide is a tiger. A silent tiger that imparts no information.

Yesterday, I decided to get my Groupon/Living Social/Tippr on and take advantage of a surfing lesson and hypnotherapy session. Believe it or not, both would lead me to the same goal: overcome my control issues. And if you know me, you certainly know I have them.

I'm great when I have a plan. I know what to do and I will execute flawlessly. When I'm in control, I'm in my comfort zone. Surfing is about letting go and enjoying the experience, which is a perfect challenge for me. But the waves were Bodie-style-at-the-end-of-Point-Break-ginormous and so we decided to reschedule for next week.

Onto hypnotherapy! I think my control issues are preventing me from exploring new career and romantic options. My rational self keeps saying, "Won't work" or "I won't be good at that." I need to break through this barrier. 

Well, the session was for a group which was a little weird. We had to lie down on yoga mats, visualize a beautiful place and listen to our instructor creating crazy vibration sounds with bowls. I had a hard time focusing...one lady got up to move, one lady started snoring and my brain kept wandering to think about errands. The instruction was general to account for everyone's issues (pregnancy anxiety, migraines). My issue is about control and fear of the unknown. Obtuse in comparison. 

Halfway through, we were asked to visualize a guide, which was supposed to be an animal. Nothing came to me, so I decided on a tiger. I like tigers. When I shroomed in college, I believed that I had 2 pet tigers sitting beside me. They protected me.

In this session, the tiger stared at me. The instructor told us to listen to the guide. For me, the tiger stared at me placidly. It had nothing for me. Didn't speak or take me anywhere. 

At the end, everyone was relaxed except me. They all had breakthroughs. The hypnotherapist was disappointed in my experience but told me to look up the symbolism of the tiger. They represent power, majesty, energy and wealth. 

My takeaway is that the tiger is within me. I have the power and the energy to create my wealth. Imagine, the control is mine! The problem is, I still have no idea how to get there. If anything, I'm more frustrated than before because I still don't have the answers.

In the immortal words of Tony the Tiger: Grrrrrrrrrrrr-eat!