Thursday, September 23, 2010

Existentially Yours

It's not so much that we're afraid of change or so in love with the old ways, but it'sthat place in between that we fear… It's like being between trapezes.” ~ Marilyn Ferguson

I began my journey with this blog in January, started working on the non-fiction proposal in April, sent it out in July and am sitting on my ass in September.

The non-fiction book proposal has been sent to 9 agents. Here is the tally: 2 rejections, 1 agent shopping it around to publishers (if he can sell it, I will have an agent and a deal all on the same day), 6 agents from whom I am awaiting word.

I’m an impatient person by nature. As one of my favorite MI-5 characters, Harry Pearce, once said, “Patience is just procrastination without the anxiety.” I fully agree.

Everyone is telling me to be positive, that all signs point to good things ahead. Ivory, the tarot card reader, told me that I’d get 2 offers/deals. One from someone to whom I have been speaking with in Massachusetts. Well, the guy shopping my proposal is in Connecticut (same difference.) She also told me that I need to relax, all of my income will come from writing.

So, what’s the problem? I need income. It is hard to relax when you have bills and unemployment doesn’t cover them. So, do I believe that I will get a deal or some kind of income from writing? I hope so. I’m not really sure how to begin if the book doesn’t pan out. What I do know is that I dislike the life of a poor, struggling artist.

As I sit in Intelligentsia at Sunset Junction (so far, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Maebe from Arrested Development and the girl that played Hoyt’s gf on Trueblood have all cycled through), I wonder, do I aim to get a job in marketing (not so easy in this economy)? Or do I want to try to write? I have no idea. Maybe the answer will come to me. Or Maebe not.

Existentially Yours,
Super Confused but Well Dressed
Hollywood, CA

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