Just thinking about it makes me hot and bothered. And sweaty. I shake.
My obsession? The creamy, icy liquid that goes down my throat like silk: an iced latte.
In the spirit of funemployed self-improvement, I'm on a 21-day cleanse which bans me from drinking coffee and pretty much most food. Basically, I've been existing on chicken, leafy green vegetables, fruit, quinoa and green tea. Since my pre-cleanse diet was so unhealthy, my detox has been awful. My muscles ache, I have painful headaches and I'm constantly craving sugar.
So why am I doing this? Primarily, to detox and secondarily, lose some weight. In the long run, I want to learn to eat better. Even though this has been one of the hardest things I've ever done, I'm on track.
I can withstand the detox and exist without the foods that I love with one exception: iced lattes. They dance constantly through my brain and and make me absolutely insane. I now understand how Edward Cullen felt when he wanted to devour Bella. I want to rip the iced latte out of people's hands. I try to hide my rabid eyes behind sunglasses for fear of scaring too many people. I'm a latte vampire.
I never realized the strength of my caffeine addiction until I gave in. After drinking an iced latte on Day 3, I was smiling ear to ear and felt full of hope. For a drink to have that power over me made me realize how powerless I am to my unhealthy habits. I recommitted to the cleanse 100%. While I can't say that I won't slip in the next 16 days, it should get easier.
Thank God I don't have to go to work in an office because this would be a true case of how to lose friends and alienate people. No one (smart) wants to be associated with a caffeine-deprived, latte-lusting vampire.