Monday, July 19, 2010

Carbs, you complete me

The end of the 21-day cleanse. The end of my apocalypse.

Over the past 21 days, I have lusted after food, dreamed of iced lattes, lost that bloated feeling, been super cranky, suffered dizzy spells from low blood sugar and got terse with the Genius Bar. Twice.

Other cleansers have said that after the first week they've felt great. I was not granted that privilege.

I did learn that I am addicted to carbs and the glucose that they produce. My body wants the sugar highs and considers murder to sate it's cravings. If I continue on my carby diet, I'm a diabetic in training. So all is not lost.

Oh, and speaking of losses, I bet you're wondering how much weight I've dropped. 3 lbs. ONLY 3 LBS. Even Gwyneth Paltrow lost 5 lbs when she did this cleanse and she has nothing to lose. I have noticed that I am fitting into pants several sizes smaller and am a true extra small (I was wearing smalls and mediums just a few weeks ago). I can see the results in the mirror. But that did not stop me from nearly destroying the TWO scales that I stepped on. Oh yeah, I wasn't leaving my weight reading to chance. To ensure there was no faulty wiring I weighed myself on 2 different scales at Bed Bath and Beyond (I'm too ghetto to buy a scale outright). And twice I was assaulted and insulted by the number.

I'm going to incorporate what I've learned into my diet moving forward. But for now, I ate 2 Sprinkles cupcakes (Chocolate Marshmallow and Cherry, a special edition) to mark the end of a long journey. Then I had a steak sandwich. I finally got a good night's sleep for the first time in 3 weeks.

Now I'm ready to give quinoa the time of day. Again.

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