You'll Know Who Killed Me

Forget about me being a serial date killer. I think I'm corresponding with an ACTUAL serial killer.

I signed up for a free dating site (I know, I know. You get what you pay for.)

I was hotlisted by this older gentleman. He began emailing me.

First correspondence, "You are a lovely woman."

Ok, a little retro for me, but complimentary.

Next communication: "Do you like drinking good wine and flirting late into the evening?"

Eye roll. I felt like I was in a commercial for the Poconos or Beautiful Mount Airy Lodge.

Then, "I'd like to pamper you."

I went for the laugh and wrote, "I'm assuming you're not referring to a weird diaper swaddling fetish."

He came back with this: "No, you're right. And I love cooking women."

!!!!!!!??!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, if you don't hear from me, it's because the serial killing date got me. Not because I'm going out with him. But serial killers are crafty and have good investigative reporting skillz. Pray for me.