Friday, May 21, 2010

Temporary Twilight Zone

This freelance gig is truly the weirdest employee experience that I've ever had.

I am filling in for someone on maternity leave. So I'm a short-timer. Whenever I've freelanced, I've been assigned specific projects. In this gig, I'm supervising a team. The challenge is that I don't know the employees, the account, the process of the agency or the client. The team I'm supposed to supervise has been working on this account for anywhere between 1.5-3 years. So, it's like the blind leading the x-ray vision.

The reality is that I sit at my desk and do nothing.

I am excluded from any sensitive or highly strategic meetings since I'm a short-timer. But those are precisely the meetings that I should be going to. I am also shut out of any projects that will continue after my contracted time. Which is almost all of them.

I'm a lame duck, a general without a war, a temporary employee in existence solely for head count. Collecting a paycheck for reading TMZ and Perez Hilton. Providing entertaining commentary for the team which they reeeeeeaaaaaaaallllllllyyyyyyy appreciate. I'm a fun character in a sea of bland robots.

Sounds like a dream, right? Except it's not. I don't do idle well (see Amish Madonna outfit; bizarre workplace photo shoots to be posted eventually). And believe it or not, the Internet does not provide 40 hours of entertainment per week. I can't really work on other projects except for a half an hour here and there (despite my super stealthy skillz).

I know, just shut up and collect the check. It'll be over soon enough. And I should feel lucky to be earning money while doing nothing.

How bizarre, how bizarre.

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