Saturday, May 19, 2012

Another Year, Lots of Learning

My birthday was a few days ago. I usually, annually fall into despair because my life isn't the way that I want it to be, but this year was different. I still want things to change, but I'm looking at this upcoming year where they will.

About a week before my birthday, I went to the doctor because I'm always exhausted. He called me to tell me that my blood test showed low sodium. When I googled, I saw that it is a symptom of some serious illnesses, including lung cancer. As an ex-smoker, this made me nervous. I kept calm, knowing it's a slim chance but I started thinking about too many things that I haven't done. Some of the easier items are to go to the Magic Castle, visit Catalina and have brunch at the Beverly Hills Polo Lounge. They will happen this year.

I also realized that fear has held me back from a lot of endeavors. Failure doesn't mean I'm a failure, just like wearing a bad outfit means I have bad taste. I'm also not psychic so if I assume something won't work out, I'm jumping the gun because of...fear. No more.

Shaggy, my rescue wheaten on my birthday morning
I'm thankful for many gifts: my dog, Shaggy, who has opened my heart; the writing opportunities that are slowly coming my way; for the job opportunities that will allow me to pay off my debt while living comfortably; and for my friends and family who love me although they may not always agree or understand my path.

As my birthday fortune cookie said, "Happiness is around the next corner, wealth down the street." Woo hoo!

(And the blood test was an anomaly, so I'm in the clear.)

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